Speaking of heat, the absurdity of journalists portraying warmth as deadly soars unabated. An item in the Ottawa Sun, warning about severe thunderstorms which actually can be dangerous, though the promised “Wind gusts up to 100 km/h, heavy downpours, Hail up to toonie size” touted by Environment Canada seem not to have materialized, prated that “A stifling heat wave continued to hold the capital in its grasp Sunday, with fresh heat warnings from Environment Canada. The forecast is for a high of 31 C…” So 87.8 F is now scary, even stifling? Yes. And more. “The sizzling temperatures are expected to continue through at least Wednesday.” A sizzling less than 90 in mid-July. We are all going to die.
The Guardian meanwhile emailed us a fundraiser with the subject line “As the world swelters”. The high in London England that day was 29C. And The I Paper told us “Where heatwave will hit the hardest as temperatures to soar to 33°C”. So soaring continues, “Following a cooler start to the week with of highs of 20°-24°C.” No word on whether it soared to 20. And while we don’t want to make too many jokes about British weather (worse than the cooking), the Daily Mail did provoke us with “Hosepipe ban begins as heatwave heads towards 33C with grass fires sparking and more deaths expected”. Again, 33 just is not hot. Not even in Scotland.
Even an Extra.ie story, via MSN, appeared to get the point half-way. It scorched Europeans with:
“The heatwave shows no signs of abating as yet, with scorching temperatures forecast for all parts of the Meditteranean [sic] and we are not yet in PEAK season for heat, late July and August.”
But then it conceded that:
“Meanwhile Ireland and the UK are basking in a manageable 27 degrees, parts of the South of England has seen temperatures rise into the 30s, but that is an enjoyable change for most of us Northern Europeans.”
Yes. Thank you. Not for the “manageable 27 degrees” which, again, is actually 80F, the temperature of a swimming pool. But for the enjoyable change of getting some actual warmth.
Incidentally Lululemon recently emailed us “These scores? Especially hot.” We won’t pass judgement on the actual garments, the models, or the result if we’d been the ones posing in, say, the “Hotty Hot High-Rise Lined Short” in “Raceway Green”. But pitches like “Summer Scores CATCH THESE RAYS” or “Summer Scores Get in while it’s hot” confirm that normal people do not dislike summer.
P.S. Eventbrite also emailed us “Say yes to fun this season with our top outdoor experiences – from movie screenings and sports to on-the-water adventures and more.” See? When it warms up, people head outdoors. What do they know that “experts” don’t?
P.P.S. Whatever it is, Porter Airlines knows it too, emailing “Have a whale of a time in Victoria/ Summer is in the air – and that means tons of fun things for you to experience in Victoria! Spend the day out at sea on a whale watching tour. From orcas, gray whales to humpback whales, these incredible mammals frequent the waters around Victoria during the summer. Victoria is also close to wonderful beaches like Willows Beach and Spiral Beach, where you can catch gorgeous mountain and sunset views.” Not “Fly to Nunavut” or “Hide indoors where the scorching can’t reach you”. No, it’s head outdoors while it’s warm and have fun.
Honestly, Canada id doomed it you guys don't fire Carney, we in the US will take the resource rich provinces of Alberta and Saskatchewan...since Ottawa is getting out of the fossil fuel biz, they don't need Alberta and Saskatchewan anyhow!