The explanation from the Climate Adaptation Center that we mentioned last week about all that Florida snow is, paradoxically, so feeble it deserves to be quoted at length. It does at least admit that “This Florida snow event might seem contradictory to the concept of climate warming”, apparently what you get when you cross global warming with climate change, before brushing it aside like a fine white powder on a Jacksonville sidewalk: “but it aligns with how warming can intensify certain weather extremes.” And that’s rigour for you. So what’s the deal? How exactly does something called variously “global warming” or “global heating” cause record snow in Florida?

Well, first, that piece notes that Pensacola got not more fire, floods or hurricanes. Instead it got “7.6 inches of snow, surpassing its previous record of 3 inches set in 1895”. And Milton, evidently also a place in the normally “Sunshine State”, “reported up to 8.8 inches, smashing the state record of 4 inches, also set in Milton back in 1954.” And when records are smashed, which in this case is not hyperbole, well um uh see:

“Climate warming has increased ocean temperatures, which leads to higher evaporation rates. This puts more moisture into the atmosphere. When a cold front or polar air mass moves into a region like Florida, this excess moisture can translate into heavier precipitation, including snow when conditions are cold enough.”

Yeah see it’s that “when conditions are cold enough” thing we’re having trouble squaring with the warming business. Ah but jet stream Arctic word salad:

“Climate warming, particularly in the Arctic, weakens the temperature gradient between the equator and the poles. This can destabilize the jet stream, causing it to become wavier. These undulations can pull unusually cold air from the Arctic far south into regions like Florida, creating the rare conditions necessary for snow. In fact, most of the cold air is now in the USA and the North Pole is exceeding warm. The Polar Vortex essentially came loose!”

Nooooo! Polar Vortex on the loose! And who wants to quibble that “climate warming” isn’t some demon or other causal agent that can “weaken the temperature gradient” while wreaking all manner of other havoc, it’s a description of things getting warmer?

No, instead we need to holler that of course it’s all worse weather all the time:

“The warming climate increases atmospheric moisture and destabilizes weather patterns while amplifying the severity of storm systems. Most of the time, this is with warm storms but sometimes it can be with cold ones. This is one of them.”

At least they noticed that it was cold. Now if only they could notice that storms were neither less frequent nor less ferocious during the Little Ice Age. Instead we get the QED: “paradoxically, a warming planet can create the right mix of conditions for rare and intense snow events, even in places like Florida!” Indeed! Or weather is unstable and you’re making it up as you go along.

By the way we got curious about this “Climate Adaptation Center” and found on their website, under financials, that “CAC is in the 2020/2021 startup phase of our development.” Which we also find hard to believe since our calendar says 2025. But then our thermometer says hot is hot and cold is cold, so we’re a bit behind the times. Or ahead depending which you check.

As has been noted, including by us, the trouble with a theory that explains everything, post facto, is that it explains nothing and makes no testable predictions. And sometimes it doesn’t even know what to postdict.

Of course some outlets handled it by the usual method of writing about cold weather without using the word climate. Including Scientific Alarmism, and also Reuters, in a piece that included:

“Florida may have already broken its all-time record of snowfall with 9 inches in the western Panhandle town of Milton, near Pensacola, according to Frank Pereira, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service’s Weather Prediction Center.”

And also:

“The U.S. Northeast was facing another day of frigid cold temperatures. The lowest temperature recorded in the contiguous United States on Wednesday was a harsh -27 degrees Fahrenheit (-32 C) in Davis, West Virginia, according to the National Weather Service.”

But weather, weather everywhere, and not a climate to cite.

Others rushed in hastily. Perhaps too hastily. According to weather.com, which hadn’t quite got its story straight:

“The system, named Winter Storm Enzo by The Weather Channel, was a once-in-a-lifetime winter storm for areas of Louisiana and Alabama that saw snow totals beyond 10 inches. Coteau, Louisiana, saw more than 13 inches, and Rayne, Louisiana, saw more than 11 inches of snowfall. The storm also dumped snow on parts of Georgia and the Carolinas, including Savannah and Charleston. Even parts of Florida saw heavy accumulation.”

So instead of the sort of unusually-hot-in-northern-places climate heating breakdown, we have unusually-cold-in-southern-places. Including “‘What made this most memorable is how far south the snow made it…. We even saw the first-ever blizzard warning in Louisiana,’ said weather.com senior meteorologist Dina Knightly. ‘Now, some cities in the South have more snow this season than some cities in the North.’”

Oh, like the ones with “frigid cold temperatures”? Awkward. But never mind. Back to the usual story. Enzo:

“hit in areas much more used to hurricanes than winter weather. ‘Many of these cities likely won’t ever see this much snow ever again when you factor in our changing climate, and if they do, we likely won’t be around to see it,’ said weather.com digital meteorologist Jonathan Belles.”

So are you saying climate warming does or does not make it snow in the South?

Or both or neither depending which way the polar vortex is blowing today?