Last week we noted a kerfuffle in Britain over the lack of such items as cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce on store shelves in midwinter, which the usual suspects blamed on climate change. But it is worth noting that the shortage is attributed by supermarkets to… bad weather in Spain and North Africa. Any particular kind of bad weather? When the language turns vague you can guess. And if you play follow-the-link far enough you finally confirm that the bad weather in question is not the dreaded heat but unexpected cold of the sort alarmists are certain doesn’t happen anymore.

In her lament about shortages the Guardian consumer correspondent we cited last week, Zoe Wood, passed tastefully over the awkward details. But elsewhere in her newspaper the following inconvenient truth emerged:

“At this time of year, Britain relies on Spain, Morocco, Tunisia and Egypt for the bulk of salad imports. However, these crops have been affected by unusually cold weather last month, including intense night frosts, while tomato plants have also been damaged or killed by disease – in particular the tomato brown rugose virus. Meanwhile, Britain and other northern European countries – particularly the Netherlands which is a big vegetable producer – have reduced how many crops they have planted over the winter, after the Ukraine war sent bills soaring for the energy required to light and heat greenhouses and the cost of the fertiliser used on plants.”

Oh my. It’s too cold in Africa, and in Europe energy is too expensive to heat… wait a minute. Greenhouses? As in the dreaded greenhouse effect? Places where nice stuff grows because it’s warm and there’s a lot of CO2. Whereas even in Britain, “a cold snap and frost before Christmas also damaged field crops including cauliflower, cabbage and carrots.” Wow. It’s so cold even brassica suffers in the Hottest Year Ever^TM. Talk about climate breakdown.

OK, says Euronews.green. You can count on us:

“British supermarket shelves lay bare as farmers battle with labour shortages, soaring energy costs, inflation, supply chain issues and climate change.”

Climate change? Oh yeah:

“Extreme weather has only added to these struggles. The UK has faced abnormally high temperatures in both summer and winter, as well as drought in some parts of the country, which has impacted crops and livestock. Abnormal weather abroad has also impacted yields, particularly in southern Europe and northern Africa.”

That “abnormal” weather, they concede, consists of “cold temperatures” in Morocco and “[b]elow freezing temperatures in Spain”. But of course cold is caused by heat in their postmodern version of physics. And then it’s back to the turnip with “Consider growing your own vegetables at home.” Especially if you can afford the power for heat and light that real plants need.

Mind you, the Guardian insists that the increase in energy costs is due to the Ukraine war not decades of government policy to suppress fossil fuels and even nuclear in favour of unreliable wind and solar. Although for some reason “The NFU is calling for more support to energy-reliant British farmers.” Whereas naturally instead governments are now instead waging war on fertilizer.