Do the days sometimes seem to drag on? It’s not your imagination, and it’s not just the result of getting older. It’s global warming. Yes, global warming will cause the Earth’s rotation to slow down and the days to get longer. Not by much, mind you, about 1 microsecond per year. As in a millionth of a second. Which is, in fact, too small a change to measure unless it holds up for a century or so. That’s what the models said back in 2005, and as scientists noted at the time, all the models agreed. But on the principle that climate scientists like to have it both ways, and in case you were saying “Slow down? The days are flying by” we only had to wait two years for a new team to run their model and show that global warming will mean the Earth’s rotation speeds up and the days will actually be getting shorter so it won’t just be your Imaginate or the result of getting older. Though we are trying to find 2005, or will be once we locate our glasses.

Again, the change is very small, on the scale of a hundred microseconds per year. Which might be measurable but only barely. And it wouldn’t matter either. But the having of it both ways does.

We have to admire the ways in which both teams of authors made a serious effort to understand what drives the rotation of the Earth, and what can change it. There are surface winds, subsea currents, variations in bottom pressure, and many other things. And, apparently, you and your gas stove. Anything that can go into a model will eventually be put in, and no matter what comes out, you’ll get the blame. Or the credit. Or both, because where climate change is concerned, they’re going to have it both ways.

We say not so fast. Or slow.