Today’s hypocrite of the week is “Carbon Carney”, Canada’s net-zero-fanatic PM who has flown across the Atlantic and to and fro above the Earth repeatedly since assuming office back in March. Almost his first act was to zoom off to France and Britain and he’s since been to Europe at least three times. He was also just in New York, with barely time to unpack from a jaunt to Mexico, and then blasted off to the UK to say all the same stuff again to essentially the same people. Of course it’s always accompanied by high-flown gooblahoy like “Prime Minister Carney to strengthen partnerships and build new opportunities for Canadian workers on visit to the United Kingdom” or, if you like that sort of thing, from New York “Prime Minister Carney meets with President of Kenya William Ruto” or “President of the Transitional Presidential Council of Haiti Laurent Saint-Cyr”. And then “Arrived in London, where I’m meeting with Prime Minister @Keir_Starmer and leaders from across the world to strengthen the trade and security partnerships that empower our workers and businesses back home.” So obviously the rules that apply to you peasants are not binding on his Virtueship. Heck no. His idea of “empowering” you somehow means stopping you from driving or flying.

It’s true that in his New York self-promotion he claimed “Prime Minister Carney strengthens Canada’s leadership in trade, energy, and security at the United Nations General Assembly” which arguably beats discussing “Canada’s support for the United Nations Security Council Resolution led by the United States and Panama” since, on that subject, what is there to discuss? But they would say it. As they would say “Prime Minister Carney announces new partnership with Mexico to elevate ties across trade, energy, and security”.

The truth is, he likes flying around uttering self-important airport-paperback vacuities to like-minded globalists who mistake such vapour for vision at, say, the “First Biennial Summit for a Sustainable, Inclusive and Resilient Global Economy”, so it’s only you who should swallow your own carbon and stay put.

See, our International Man of Green Finance is doing cosmic stuff like:

“We have a transformative opportunity to build a fairer and more resilient global financial system. That’s what we focused on at the @UN this morning – how to boost productivity, reduce inequality, and build a more inclusive and sustainable economy that empowers more people.”

So it’s absurd to expect him to stay home at his desk doing things like, um, balancing the budget, getting equipment for our military, stopping his ministers from acting like clowns, fixing our busted immigration system or that boring rubbish. Or even getting us on track to meet our own pretentious greenhouse-gas emissions targets, aspirations being for winners and results for losers or something. Such giants stride far above all that petty clutter.

Why, his Israel-hating foreign minister can even join the carnival in New York because “Minister Anand meets with Oman’s Foreign Minister”. And no ecological price is too high to pay for that kind of access to… where is Oman again? (Yes, we do know.) And great international gains shall flow because “the ministers reflected on more than 50 years of bilateral relations between Canada and Oman and the many shared interests in the areas of international peace and social and economic development.” You can’t by phone, obviously. Indeed Minister Anand met with so many vital statespersons from Cho Hyun to Winston Peters, Andrii Sybiha and Radosław Sikorski that it’s a wonder they had time to do more than pose for the camera and issue a press release. If in fact they did.

Still, they’re so marvellous they can even announce results in advance. Thus:

“Canada, Minister Champagne to attend the EU Finance Ministers Meeting in Denmark, deepen trade ties and security collaboration”.

It is, in fact, just an informal meeting. And Champagne owes Canada a budget by Nov. 4 after a very unusual delay in an increasingly spotty process of reporting to Parliament and submitting to its fiscal oversight as the nation’s finances ignite. But we hear Copenhagen is nice. Plus he too will solve pretty much all the world’s problems along with his fellow sky-travelling wizards:

“The Minister’s visit will focus on the economic effects of geopolitics, advancing reforms to boost productivity and economic resilience in Canada and EU member states, renewing collaboration with Nordic Partners to safeguard the Arctic against both new and longstanding threats, and addressing broader security concerns, including Russia’s illegal war in Ukraine and instability in the Middle East. The Minister will also participate in a roundtable discussion on the Arctic and meet with several European partners and allies to discuss international economic challenges amid the current global uncertainty.”

You can do all that? Sure. Piece of Lagkage, billed to taxpayer.

Just as the “Joint G7 Foreign Ministers’ Statement – Meeting of the G7 Foreign Ministers on the Margins of the High-Level Week at the United Nations General Assembly in New York” solved all the world’s problems from Ukraine to Gaza to Haiti to Iran to China, North Korea and the fact that the UN is an invaluable heap of junk: “As the United Nations marks its 80th anniversary, we recognized the fundamental need for the reform of the United Nations and expressed willingness to participate in efforts to ensure that it is fit for purpose.” And will again… and again… and again… all involving much first-class jet travel, fancy food and other seriously carbon-intensive self-indulgence and self-congratulations. Enjoy your bug burger and your walk home.

It should be added that when some foreign irrelevancy indicates a desire to visit Canada, Carney doesn’t say “Look, love to chat but carbon is such pollution, know what I mean? Here’s a Zoom link.” Instead you get rubbish like “Canada’s newest trade agreement is a game changer” with… Indonesia. Never one to avoid laying it on too thick, Carney added “This was the first meeting of the Leaders in Ottawa in 25 years, marking a new chapter in the enduring friendship between Indonesia and Canada founded on mutual respect, trust, and a shared commitment to building more ambitious and targeted cooperation.” Or proving that there’s absolutely no urgency in their meeting.

But wait. There’s more. You also get “Joint statement by the Prime Minister of Canada and the Taoiseach of Ireland” in which “The leaders agreed to continue to deepen collaboration and work together to address global challenges and advance mutual interests” and “welcomed the launch of the Canada–Ireland Economic Impact Report”. Which neither of them read. And now Carney will fly to Ireland in 2026 for an “official visit” where they will discuss… what? The need for other people to reduce their carbon footprint? How to undermine democratic Israel in favour of Hamas? What vital thing, indeed, means the rules for us aren’t for them?

P.S. Perhaps Carney’s goal is to break his predecessor’s record for spewing carbon while denouncing it. And if so we admit he has a long way to go, but express confidence in his ability to get there.